A Rite of Passage | Rabbi Shefa Gold

Having a Bat Mitzvah meant fighting with the rabbi to try to get him to let me read from the Torah, like the boys did. I lost that battle but won the war, because today I’m a rabbi, and I am helping to create and evolve a Judaism that is an inclusive, empowering and loving force in the transformation of our planet. Back in the 1960s, though girls weren’t allowed to read from the Torah, we could give a speech. I gave a speech about Light and quoted extensively from Torah, weaving the sacred melody through my speech. And so my Bat Mitzvah became a passage of mastering the art of circumventing the rules, and discreetly, gently stepping into my power.

I don’t remember very much about the ceremony… but I do remember the powerful moment of passage that occurred that next morning, the day of my 13th birthday.

For years I had begged my parents to let me drink coffee, because for me it meant finally being a grownup. They promised me a cup of coffee on my 13th birthday.

So the whole family celebrated my passage by taking me to the Suburban Diner and ordering a cup of coffee for me. I lifted the cup to my lips as everyone watched in silent expectancy. It seemed that the whole world held its breath while I took my first sip of that stale bitter brew. It tasted awful. “Yum! Delicious,” I said, because this was a test and I wanted to pass and step into adulthood and independence.

I avoided coffee after that, for many years, until finally I tasted a really good cup of Dark Roast, strong, rich, fragrant, fresh with real cream. I remembered my first cup and realized that the Suburban Diner had served me really lousy coffee. That realization was another passage. I realized that I could trust myself and that if I didn’t speak my truth, I would be trapped. To really step into my power I would have to learn how to question every assumption. I realized that there were rules that I had been following without even knowing. To step into my power I would have to overcome the conditioning that led me to betray myself in order to please others.

Many years later, I was about to teach an important workshop on Healing. I prayed for guidance. The only message I received said, “Stop drinking coffee.”

“No!” I cried, “Anything but that!” I had developed a healthy adult addiction to good strong coffee and I dreaded the headaches of withdrawal I knew would come. I finally came to understand that as a healer I was being asked to refine my perceptions of energy, and that my coffee addiction would hinder that refinement and would keep me from perceiving the subtleties of energy. I had become enslaved to my symbol of maturity. I was ready for the next passage.

The night before the workshop I was writhing on my bed in a darkened room with a massive migraine. Suddenly the room filled with Light while loving angels lifted me above the pain. They held me through the night. In the morning I was filled with a new inspiration, a new maturity, a new humility, a new power.