October 25th 2007
The Full moon in Taurus
The 13th of Cheshvan
Fellow Pilgrims,
Some say that a pilgrimage begins the moment that you decide to go. For me this pilgrimage began when I first realized that it’s really going to happen! The dream has become a Reality! A willing, mature and open-hearted group has formed, the details of our journey are being taken care of responsibly and efficiently, and we can now focus in on the inner components of our shared journey.
Martin Buber retells a Chasidic story that you may have heard, about a certain rabbi, Rabbi Isaac son of Rabbi Yekel of Crakow. He has a series of disturbing dreams in which he is told to journey to Prague and dig up a treasure that is buried at the bridge that leads to the King’s Palace. After the first dream, he tells his wife, Goldie, and they both laugh about it. They are poor people and Prague seems like a distant place. But after the third dream, Rabbi Isaac is filled with both trembling and resignation and he packs a small bag and sets out for Prague. After a dangerous journey, he arrives at the King’s Palace only to find that the bridge is guarded day and night and he does not dare start digging. The captain of the guards asks him if he is waiting for someone or looking for something. Rabbi Isaac breaks down and tells him of the dream that brought him there. The captain of the guards laughed, “You poor fellow, listening to stupid dreams! Why if I had paid attention to dreams I would have had to get going when a dream once told me to go to Crakow and dig for treasure under the stove of a Jew! Rabbi Isaac, son of Rabbi Yekel that was his name!” And he laughed again. Rabbi Isaac turned, traveled home and dug up the treasure from under his stove.
When I heard this story, I knew that it was true. The treasure is right here under the ground on which I stand. Yet I might have to travel to Prague, to Machu Picchu, to the edges of my own soul… in order to return with enough courage and vision to dig.
I suppose that growing up with the annual practice of watching the Wizard of Oz probably left its mark on me. With Dorothy I know that “There’s no place like home.” And yet she (and I) would have to travel the dangerous road to OZ and back, in order to know the place of my life, my center as “home.” (In Hebrew oz means strength.)
When I was young I began telling everyone that I was from Madagascar (the most exotic place I had ever heard of) because it just didn’t feel fair or true that I was growing up in Paramus, New Jersey. Actually I said that I was from an island off the coast of Madagascar, where strange and wonderful animals roamed, and where each breeze carried on it a new and tantalizing fragrance of spice. I knew that although I sometimes suffered with a feeling of being “in exile,” my life was a journey Home. This longing for “Home,” has its source in the experience, however fleeting, of the truth that I am home, whole, loved… . that I truly rest in God’s embrace. We can only long for what we have already tasted. Our longing is born of a faint remembrance. Some call it the memory of Eden.
As we begin our journey, we can connect with this remembrance and fan the spark of our longing till it bursts into flame. That flame becomes the fuel for our journey. When you look inside and search for that flame of longing, you may find that it is buried under layers of disappointment or cynicism.
Here is your first assignment (just a suggestion really) in preparation for Pilgrimage: In prayer, meditation or reverie, ask the question, “What is my deepest longing?” “What do I yearn for in the depths of my heart?” You don’t have to answer. Just be with the question and let its power uncover the layers that defend your heart. Just feel the power of that yearning at your core which holds in it the memory of Eden. Notice, also, the voice of resistance that rises up in you.
When you uncover that deepest longing, imagine it as a fire that is burning at the center of your heart. (It is the Ner Tamid, the eternal flame.) As the image of that fire gets clearer, bring your focus to your breath and imagine that with each breath, you are blowing gently on that flame, feeding it with your conscious awareness. Let each breath brighten and strengthen that flame until the fire at the center of your heart becomes a radiant Light, shining out to illuminate the way forward.
Each month at the time of the full moon, I will write another letter with suggestions for practices we might do or ideas we might contemplate as we prepare for our pilgrimage.
With blessing and grateful anticipation for our journey,
Shefa
©2007 Shefa Gold. All rights reserved.