Chapter 3:3-4
Then the watchmen who circle the city find me.
“Have you seen him? Have you seen the beloved of my soul?”
Scarcely had they passed when I found my soul’s beloved,
I held him, I would not let him go
Until I brought him to my mother’s house
Into the place where I had been conceived.
I was lost in my longing, my looking, my lack, my desperation. And then the Light of Awareness found me, awakened me to the real question beneath all my grasping. Awareness freed me from the compulsion of the search, because I could suddenly see that although this was an arduous and dangerous journey —
I had already arrived.
The destination was beneath my feet.
The treasure was already safe within me.My Beloved, in the moment when you touch me, I brim over with your sweetness,
I try to grasp it,
to save some for later,
share its abundance with my friends,
its bounty with the hungry world. But it is impossible.
It would be like trying to grab smoke, to hold an ocean, or to contain a fire that burns through every container.
When the Beloved comes, the only thing I can do is consent.
I am lifted up by the smoke, dissolved in the ocean, transformed by the fire,
And in that moment of transformation I can know myself before I was born, before I had a face to call “I”.
In the Fever of Love ©2008 Shefa Gold. All rights reserved.
Practice
Chant: Found
Commentary
I like to think of the watchmen who circle the city as Awareness itself, circling though the mind that is in the process of settling into its center. Awareness is another name for God. When I find my stillness, I am found by the Beloved. And then I hold him close and bring him, as blessing, to my innermost chambers. There the past that is within me can be illuminated and purified. When I chant these words, I remember how I was lost in rumination and fear… and now I am found, restored to my wholeness through the miracle of Awareness.
Bridge to Torah
The watchmen circle the city to bring a sense of order and keen awareness. Our conversation with those watchmen leads us to the Beloved. Along the way, Mishpatim gives us concrete ways to live from love through righteous deeds, kindness and the goals of justice. The watchmen guard the city, welcome the stranger, and awaken us to the consequences of our actions. We step onto a path of care-ful love.
Click to see Exodus 21:1–24:18 in Hebrew and English (JPS 1985) or the associated Torah Journeys page.
Questions for Contemplation
Can I stand still in the present moment and be found? Can I know myself as spacious, loving awareness?
Resources
View Love at the Center Resources.
Click to see Song of Songs Chapter 3:3-4 in Hebrew with the English JPS (1985) translation.